My Christmas Extraditions...make that Ex-Traditions...

If a Christmas tree falls in the forest in Ottawa, and I'm not there to hear it, will it still make a sound? Probably. My cubicle neighbour and I were talking about Christmas traditions today. Specifically, he asked me what mine were. I was quick to point out that I really don't have any traditions here in Nova Scotia, but if I were home, the whole holiday would be one big fat Greek...err...better make that Hungarian and Newfie fun-fest. Ever since I can remember, this is how my side rolls on JC's birthday:
Christmas Eve...ahhhh! Almost better than waking up on Christmas Day. It always seems to be sunny on the 24th of December. My Mom and I hook up at around lunchtime and we go to the mall and people watch/window shop. After a few hours, we go to my grandparents' place and chill out, and drink gross liqueurs that my Grandfather enthusiastically puts in front of us ("Nagyon yo, Sandyke!"). It must be ancient Hungarian lore that young children cannot be present when the gifts are being placed under the tree. I'm 32, and I know if I were there this Christmas, everyone would still make me go to the basement until the "special Christmas bell" rang, signaling that I could return. So, I do my disappearing act. We then all stand around the tree (which is only illuminated for the first time on Christmas Eve at dusk), pray, and share how thankful we are to have another Christmas all together. It's quite emotional, really. Once we're done hugging, it's time to get to the presents! Dinner follows, then my Mom drives me to my Dad's place where we say our tearful goodbyes (note to parents who are divorced and who share custody of their kiddies: it's extremely heart-wrenching for the kid(s) to say bye to the other parent at Christmastime. That NEVER goes away. EVER.), and then I join the madness at my father's. There's music, games, food, lots of people, and tons of laughing. And, everyone's family! Imagine that?! A family that has raucous fun together!! The night always winds down with 10 - 15 people camped out on the living room floor watching "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" (we all recite our favourite lines...me and my little bro are particularly fond of the "Later Dudes!" scene...) followed by "A Christmas Carol"...the original one in black and white with Alastair Simms. Then it's off to bed. Christmas morning, I'm always the first one up, and I run into Little Bro's room where I do the annual "steam roller" until he wakes up. We all head downstairs, get our coffee/tea and pastries, turn on Burl Ives' Christmas album, and open gifts. By noon, we're all so exhausted that we crash until dinner. Dinner is madness...in a good way. Again, there's usually 10-15 people, tons of dinner convo, Christmas crackers, and more food than you can imagine. Family games follow the dinner, and that's pretty much it. My family Christmases are so rich with tradition, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
After going through my traditions, my cube neighbour said, "That sounds great! We have traditions, too. But I guess the difference is that I consider home wherever I'm at with my wife and kids."
Then it hit me. Isn't the purpose of tradition to "pass the torch"? To repeat a pattern of thought or action? If my childhood was so much richer for those traditions, why do I think traditions are only bonafide happenings if they're in Ottawa (where clearly, I'm not)? That was my 'aha!' moment. Now that I have a family of my own, it's time to bring forth those same traditions that I loved so much as a child - and still love to this day. I can only hope that in passing on these beloved traditions, and in creating some of our own, that our children's memories will be rich and colourful...and that even after 32 years, they'll want to keep coming back.

Lest We Forget...

We bid farewell to family and friends,

In hope that someday we'll live as brothers.

I pray for the day all wars will end,

and my fate shall be spared to others.

It was the war to end all wars,

That is what they said.

After all these years,

Canada still counts her dead.

I was a true Canadian, 

I wish you could see,

All I ask  is,

Remember Me.

In war I fought and died,

I thought it did cease.

Now under the Blue Beret,

I die for World Peace.

Like Michael Ralph, John Ternapolski,

Plus the thousands of soldiers before.

On November 11th Remember

I died for Peace not War.

I was a true Canadian,

I wish you could see.

All I ask is,

Remember Me.

In memory of  MCpl John William Ternapolski

from www.geocities.com/Pentagon/9556/Mil.Poems.html

Thank you to all soldiers for protecting my freedom.

Out of Service

We've all experienced it. You attempt to purchase goods or services, only to by met by very poor customer service. I've been on the receiving end of everything from feeling like I'm intruding on someone's social time, to apathy, through to pure anger. I've always tried to be of the mindset that you never know what kind of day the customer service person has had, or what their familial situation is; but you know what? Those days are quickly coming to an end. NOTE TO CUSTOMER SERVICE AGENTS: your job is to deal with the public!! Yes, it sucks sometimes, believe me I have many years of first-hand experience, but if you don't like it, quit!
It boggles my mind that with our economy in the state that it's in, the big companies are doing anything less than treating customers like royalty.

My most recent harrowing experience was this afternoon. I went to one of the "all-in-one" department-type stores. You know the ones...you can can buy snow tires, ketchup, a crib, eggs, or prescription glasses all in one place. I had purchased about 15 items. One of the items was marked down an additional 50% off of the last ticketed price. One of the other items I produced a coupon for, handed it directly to the cashier and mentioned that this item was $2.00 off. She nodded and thanked me. And then didn't mark it down! Nor did she give me the addition 50% off the other item. I asked her about the correction, and she directed me to t he Customer Service counter. I had to go through the same song and dance there, and then both issues were resolved. The point is, that it shouldn't have happened in the first place.
The funniest story I've experienced so far was this past January. I went to one of the big-box electronic stores, and was paying for some movies. I asked the cashier if the new tax rate had been programmed into the computer system (our tax rate dropped by 1%). She looked at me with a blank stare and said she didn't know. So, I naturally asked her to check, I mean 1% is 1%, right? She said she didn't know where to check, and that she just did whatever the computer told her. I wanted to ask her if the computer could ask her to go fuck herself, but resisted. Anyhow, a manager came by and answered me immediately. As front-line staff, how could you not know something like that?
Bad customer service is unfortunate for many reasons. One of them is that when you do get good service, you kind of think, "What is wrong with this person? Why are they so creepy?" Case in point, I went to Second Cup last week, and the barristas seemed genuinely happy to serve me. I thought it was weird, but they looked in my eyes, smiled and said, We hope you really enjoy your latte. Thanks for letting us serve you!" WTF?? I quickly looked around for hidden cameras, and checked my latte for loogies. Nothing. Just good old fashioned customer service. Isn't it too bad, though, that I couldn't just appreciate being served by friendly people? That I assumed the worst...a practical joke, or vindictive barristas?

In closing, I'd like to share my most favourite commercial in the entire world. It's the NicoDerm crazy flight attendant, named 'Deb'...if I'm ever feeling down in the dumps, I surf on over to YouTube, and LMAO. The link is posted at the end of this entry. Enjoy, but also keep in mind that the reason it's so funny is because we've all been on the receiving end of wonderful airline "service".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z-g8Rq9_SM

Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens...

Last month I was at Starbucks with a couple of girlfriends, and they hinted that every once in a while, I should periodically blog about some of my favourite things. After I got over my Oprah complex, I thought the idea was pretty good. My mum and I talk almost every day, and I would venture to say that at least three times per week, we're sharing "product reviews." I love hearing about a product from someone in my inner circle. If the product gets a good review from a trusted source, I'll go right out and get it for myself. If not, that's equally as helpful. I can't guarantee that this piece will be a regular feature, but I'll try my best. So, Nance and Kate - this one's for you!

If you take a gander at the photo up top, you'll see a mish-mash of items. Those, my friends, are my current favourite things. I'll go through each one with as much detail as I can (i.e. item name, cost, store where puchased, colour, taste, and anything else that may help). Clockwise from the top:

1. Santa Cruz Organic Ginger Ale

USDA Approved Organic, 355 mL, puchased @ Superstore, $0.99 + taxes

This little taste sensation is the best ginger ale I have ever had. Schweppes, Canada Dry, Sussex, and any others are put to shame. It has that great ginger taste without the mouth-puckering/sinus-clearing after-effect of traditional Jamaican ginger beer. It even has a pretty picture of a ginger flower on the can...awww. Added bonus: you can almost see your carbon footprint begin to disappear because, "100% of the electricity used to make this product is offset with renewable certificates." 

2. "Who Will Cry When You Die? Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold his Ferrari" by Robin Sharma

225 p., 1999, HarperCollins, $16.95, Chapters

This book is invaluable. It was given to me as a gift, and I have read it many times, and reference it frequently. Each of the lessons (there are 101 in total) have held different meanings for me throughout the past 3 years. His teachings center me and calm  my mind. This book is something you will treasure forever. 

3. Moe's Broadway Bagel

Only available in select Colorado cities. www.moesbagel.com

If you love bagels, this place is pure nirvana. If you ever find yourself in Denver or Boulder, do go. The bagels are fresh, tasty, and they actually melt in your mouth. It's almost worth the plane fare alone just to eat there. Like their tag line says, "Only the best get baked." True dat. Speaking of which, I sometimes miss being 25.

4. Trident Splash - Orange Swirl

9 pieces, blister pack only, $1.29, purchased at Sobey's

This gum tastes exactly like an orange creamsicle. True story: when I was younger, I used to wonder why companies never made orange-flavoured gum. I think Trident actually did circa '82, but I can't be sure. Anyhoo, if you're chemical-conscious, this gum isn't for you as it contains all the 'tols' (Malitol, Sorbitol, Xylitol, and everyone's favourite: aspartame). If you're like me though, you could give a rat's ass; so chew away! You won't be sorry. Oh, in case you were not aware, the "Splash" means there's liquid in the middle of the gum. I used to be a "Freshen Up" fan, so I actually don't mind it.

5. MAC Plushglass "Oversexed"

Purchased at MAC Eaton Centre, $21.00, 4.2 mL

This shade is a dark purple in the bottle (which is why I was instantly drawn to it), but upon application, it's quite muted, and suitable for everyday use. The gloss does not go on sticky, like the old MAC formulations, and has a pleasant minty vanilla taste. It also has Vitamin E for that little bit of added protection (do you really care?). I love it, but if you're not into the purple palette (this is sheer, but you can still see a hint of it), this isn't for you. 

6. Sephora Ultra-shine Lip Gloss "20"

Purchased at Sephora Rideau Centre, $14.00, 0.13 fl. oz.

On the other hand, if you're into barely-there colour, this one's for you. It wears off quickly, but gives you that "fresh" look. It smells like grapes, or strawberries...hard to tell. This is always in my purse, and no matter your skin tone, you'll look great.

7. Red Beaded bracelet

Purchased on sale at a store in Brooklin, ON; reg. $20.00 ea., bought for $6.99 ea.

These red and black beads are made of glass with enamel paint, and strung together on an elastic tie. I love anything red or purple these days. Ninety percent of my wardrobe is black, so I love finding accessories that accentuate my outfit. These were just one of those fluke finds, so I guess what I'm saying is never stop looking. You'll find something you love in the most unlikely places. If you're lucky, it'll be on sale.

8. MAC Nail Lacquer Frost "Perplexing"

Purchase at MAC Eaton Centre, $13.00

Surprise! It's purple. Not a colour for the cosmetically unadventurous. This is a dark, rich purple, and if you've used MAC nail lacquer before, you know that it wears amazingly well. The lacquer (as always) contains UV protection for your nails (gotta hate those nail sunburns). It reeks, but if you're using nail polish, I'm guessing you're expecting it. This colour is no longer available on the website (I just checked). So, too bad suckas! 

Anyhow, hope this list was helpful. If not, hopefully enjoyable. If not...well, maybe you should reference lesson #16 in Robin Sharma's book.

I heart MLVC...

I've been a bit preocc'd this past week, hence the late review of what was one of the best concerts I've ever attended. Ready?

The girls and I showed up at 7:30 p.m. (the tix indicated show start of 8:00 p.m.), so that gave us enough time for souvenirs, and time to get to our seats. Madonna didn't come on stage until 9:30. She had no opnening act, per se, but there was a DJ there entertaining us for about 45 minutes. When the show finally started, the intro was this crazy digital short displaying a pinball-candy type video game...kinda cool. The she came out. Emerged from a enormous cube-like structure, and started singing "Candy Shop." I was completely overcome with emotion...I was a screaming mad-woman who sounded like she had just won the lottery. In my mind, at that time, I kinda had. She was impressive as ever, executing her dance moves flawlessly whilst wearing her Louboutin stiletto boots; unbelievable! She followed that up with "The Beat Goes On" which included on-screen cameos of both Mr. West and Pharrell. The big shocker was "Human Nature." Madge was singing, and dancing, but Britney (my "other" Madonna) was on-screen the entire time singing and in a kind of pseudo-vid. I was ecstatic...really! I think Britney is to Madonna what Coldplay is to U2...all good. The rest of the set was in this order:

Vogue, Video Interlude - Die Another Day, Into The Groove, Heartbeat, Borderline (great hard-rock version), She’s Not Me, Music, Video Interlude - Rain/Here Comes The Rain Again, Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You, Spanish Lesson, Miles Away (for the emotionally retarded), La Isla Bonita/Lela Pala Tute, Doli Doli (Live interlude - Romanian folk song), You Must Love Me, Video Interlude - Get Stupid (About saving the planet, and she compares McCain to Hitler, and Obama to Mandela), 4 Minutes, Like A Prayer, Ray Of Light, Hung Up, and Give It To Me (Finale). 

The high point of the night was definitely, "Like a Prayer." It's my favourite Madonna song, and she completely killed it. I had tears streaming down my face as she was belting out the lyrics. What can I say? I felt something. It was truly a spiritual moment for me. All those years of pure fandom, and now she was performing that song live...Her voice certainly brought me there. Just thinking of it makes me want to drink a Pepsi. I guess old campaigns die hard, right?!

My only 'less than' comment for the evening was that she was, without a doubt, delivering a business product. Consumers had paid a lot of money to see her perform, and perform she did. Flawlessly. With perfection. Seamless. She even double-dutched without making a mistake for Christ's sake! She made good on her promise of an unforgettable, AMAZING show. However, she didn't look like she was having fun. Nary a smile crossed her face (save for those of the ersatz variety). I don't buy that it was because she and Mr. Madonna are splitting up. It may be news to us, but at this stage for her, probably a relief. I think once you've reached a certain level, you can disassociate yourself from the audience, and perfect what you're paid for: a performance. 

Regardless, I still had one of the best times of my life. So did the bikini-clad dude who was sitting in my section, but got upgraded to front row for dressing in costume. Oh, to be young, male, homosexual, and in drag at a Madonna show...

My sugar is raw...

"Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome back to Toronto....the Material Girl herself....MADONNA!!!" Pandemonium. Screaming. Crying. I've waited my entire life for this moment. 

Let me start from the beginning. It's 1984-ish, and I'm at that musical crossover point of my childhood where Raffi and the Smurfs are no longer cutting it for me. I want more. I start listening to the radio (when my Mom's not playing Hall & Oates or the Alan Parsons Project), which is when I discover Madonna. It's love at first listen. Then much to my entire family's dismay, it's love at first sight. I wanted to be her. I started dressing like her (as much as I could...I mean I was 8), and singing her songs, and dying to see her movies ("Desperately Seeking Susan" was my favourite movie I'd never seen until 1990). I dreamed of seeing her in concert. But alas...it was never to be part of the plan of my childhood. She was never interested in visiting Ottawa early in her career (or ever, for that matter). 

My Dad started taking me to concerts when I was 9...Whitney Houston, Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, Glass Tiger, The Beach Boys. I guess those early days really set the stage for me loving live music. I've been to almost three dozen concerts in my three decades of life, and there are still so many artists to see. A sampling of artists I have seen: Prince, Janet Jackson, Everclear, Lauren Hill, The Tragically Hip, Blue Rodeo, U2 (x6), Backstreet Boys (x7), New Kids on the Block (in 1990), Powderfinger, Jet, Nickelback, Aerosmith, The White Stripes, Justin Timberlake, The Guess Who, AC/DC, The Rolling Stones...so you have an idea. My tastes are varied. I have a wish list of artists I would love to see: Bruce Springsteen, Elton John, Andrea Bocelli, U2 (can't ever get enough of them...their concerts are totally different with each tour), Kanye West, Britney Spears, Michel Bubble, Frank Sinatra Jr....and Madge herself.

Right...kind of went off there. So, pretty much for 25 years, I've been waiting to see Madonna in concert. The stars have aligned, and I'm heading to the ACC this weekend to see her Sticky & Sweet Tour. I'm going with some girlfriends, and this is like fucking Christmas!! Seeing her live is on my life's to-do list. 

Before this post becomes any more redundant, let's summarize: This weekend, Toronto, girlfriends, Madonna concert. The only thing that could possibly make this weekend better is if I floor seats to see the Raps (although, reg. season is still weeks away). Maybe dinner out with Clooney, Craig and Di Caprio, too. I'm packed and ready to go. Have the song order for the concert memorized, I've learned most of the new songs, and I have an appropriate condolence for her failed marriage (you know...just in case she decides to open  up to me).

HOLY SHIT...I'M GOING TO SEE MADONNA THIS WEEKEND!!!!

I'll give a concert review once I'm down from cloud 9.

Summer Tunes Version 2008

Time Magazine recently released their list of the top songs of summer 2008. I don't know about you, but for as long as I can remember, songs have been my auditory scrapbook marking major events (the minor ones, too) in my life. For example the first time I kissed a boy (Jason Nolan, grade 8, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" - Def Leppard); the first time I got drunk ("Little Bones" - The Tragically Hip); my first boyfriend ("Dream On" - Aerosmith - that wasn't on the radio by that time, just a song on a mixed tape I liked); the first time I slow-danced with a boy and could feel some *ahem* swelling in his 'nether' regions ("More Than Words" - Extreme); my first job ("Enter Sandman" - Metallica); my wedding song ("Forever" - Ben Harper)...well, you get the picture. Back to Time's list...

Here are the songs they selected:

1. Kid Rock "All Summer Long"

I can see where this song may have nabbed top spot. The title for starters. The song is annoyingly catchy. To listen to it, makes me feel v. old, however. Kid is singing about the summer on 1989. I totally remember that summer. I remember listening to songs like "Jack & Diane", "Summer of '69", and "Born in the U.S.A"; the artists would sing about the 'good ol' days' and wonder about past loves and old friends. I would hear these lyrics and think, "Wow...these guys are singing about a time before I was born." Now, I'm very aware that kids are listening to this song thinking the same thing. Anyhow, Kid Rock is using a rif from Lynard Skynard, but I'm cool with that. Rap artists borrow tracks all the time, right? Not sure about the #1 position, but this song belongs on the list.

2. Rihanna "Disturbia"

Kudos to Rihanna for an amazing MTV Awards performance. In case you missed it, 'Youtube' it. She performed this song, and delivered. I was at a wedding last week, and this song came on, and I danced my ass off. Great song. Enough said. I just wish I knew all the words.

3. Usher "Love in this Club"

Have you heard this song? It's about this guy who is at a club and wants to fuck a hot chick. Are you kidding?? Since when is that even remotely catchy as a song? I saw Usher perform this song on SNL, and I was just imagining Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers yuking it up. How can you sing lyrics like "It's goin' down on aisle 3, I'll bag you like some groceries" and be serious? Is that was the clubbers are doing these days? Fucking in clubs on the dance floor? I just cannot take this guy seriously, and I am incredulous that this song ranked.

4. Estelle "American Boy"

This song is mediocrity at it's best. Sounds like something you'd hear over the loudspeaker at Garage Clothing or Abercrombie & Fitch. The music producers do not have me in mind as a target audience for this little ditty. When this song plays on the radio, I promptly change it. 

5. T.I. "No Matter What"

I honestly have no clue about this song. I listened to a clip of it on iTunes, but I cannot impart any wisdom here. So...good pick? Bad pick? Talk amongst yourselves.

6. Leona Lewis "Bleeding Love"

I like this song. Each time the chorus hits, I try to bring my baritone singing voice to match her falsetto-like sound, and fail miserably. The lyrics are a bit dramatic. Very Shakespearian tragedy, but come on people...we're in the 21st century in North America. Are "they" really keeping you from being with the one you love? Really? I think Leona needs to grow a pair and go after her man, or else she's likely to bleed to death.

7. L'il Wayne "A Milli"

In the wise words of Chris Rock, "I love rap. I hate defending it." This is a great track and should be higher than number 7. The beat is amazing. So much so, that the lyrics are tolerable. 

8. Pussycat Dolls "When I Grow Up"

When I grow up, I wanna know that the Pussycat Dolls were a bad dream and exist only in some Bizarro universe. This song is absolute shite.

9. Coldplay "Viva la Vida"

Great song. Great album. Yes, I know that's a predictable analysis from me, but I love U2, and isn't that who Coldplay are? Just a U2 reincarnate? Regardless...this song is never far from my play button.

10. Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl"

I was hoping this song would make it. I was dying to talk about it, and I almost want to do a whole blog entry on it. The trend a few years ago for teen girls was to be slutty, and stupid, and basically little Paris Hilton disciples. Now, it seems the trend is to be gay. Look at Lindsay Lohan, then this song...Katy Perry is smart, though. She knew it'd catch on, since being gay is the new black. I wonder how many young girls are trying this one out? I'll keep it short, but I guess this is the epitome of pop. Where will this one-hit wonder be next year? 

Well, I am disappointed in Time's selections. What about Madonna, M.I.A., The Killers, The Verve? I miss those summers past, laden with the Chilli Peppers, Sublime, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Screaming Trees...a new generation is here.